When you move beyond the Warrior's
Quest shadow of sexual abuse, what you discover is
that sexual coupling evokes a powerful, somewhat overwhelming intimately
erotic sense of yourself, that is, you realize intimacy within relationship.
You realize that the word “intimacy” can hardly contain
the break-down of yourself which the ecstasy of
embracing causes. Your body no longer seems your
body. And the body of your beloved no longer seems
to be his or her own. Somehow you are together.
United. One. It is a strange, bizarre, unsettling
experience where, as Beloveds, you gaze at each other and find yourselves
knocked senseless. You have no words. You seek a
new vocabulary of intimacy.
If you’ve never experienced
your body in its multi-dimensionality, when you engage in
sexual intercourse you experience a profoundly new and quite often unnerving sense
of who you are. You discover your literal physical self,
your vulnerable emotional self, your mind-boggling, precious self.
You experience your “self” as “we” in
a breathless and heart-pounding way.
You experience being a me/We.
It is such a boggling sense that no words seem
able to capture it. You find yourself going from baby-talk and cooing
to the creation of special nicknames (which are totally embarrassing
if heard by others) to a tongue-tied silence. It is such a baffling
moment that only laughter and pure silliness and surrender to the
moment allows you and your beloved to transit back to normal time.
It is at such a moment of embracing and un-embracing that you grasp
the wonder of what Creation is … and, must
you not wonder what was being communal felt by those who wrote Genesis?
Who presented life in such a dreary, depressing way? Who, clearly,
lived without ecstasy?
Continue—Skin
