is not a “sure thing.”
It is not
the result of mechanical ritual acts or practices. Sometimes two
lovers remain so focused upon themselves as a twosome that all
is an egoism of two. This type of “love”
frequently grows cold as the lovers age. This happens because theirs
is an act of two individuals focused on the art of erotically coupling.
The language of this sexual egoism of two focuses upon expressing individual
pleasure. The question, “Was it good
for you?” makes clear that the asker was
concerned solely with his or her own pleasure. That in effect
they were genitally
coupling but seeking to pleasure themselves and not the
Neither was communicating during coupling,
yet they were aware of the other, even talking—“Baby,
you like that?” “Oh, give it to me, Big Boy!”—but
they were not communing. Neither
offered up their precious presence as one candle to merge
with the other’s precious presence. In short, they “fucked.”
Such coupling describes the act of mutual masturbation.
An Earthfolk image
apt for the intimate moment within a nurturing embrace is the Other
as food. There is no better quantity and quality metaphor
for vital zest than that of the savory delights of
food. Preciousness is a nourishing moment. When you
feel Beloved, when your preciousness has been celebrated, when you are
awed by that most human of moments—that of coupled intimacy—you
feel larger, fuller, filled-up by the Other. You’ve
probably heard yourself say, “I could eat you up you are so delicious!”
That’s feeding on precious vital zest.
What flows between intimate beloveds
is energy like but more than electric—Snap!
Crackle! Pop! It is not merely
the physically erotic energy released through the athletic wildness
of youthful lust and “blind love”— being sizzlin’!
(Heart thumping. Forehead beading. Gasping breaths. Flickering flames
licking up and around, in and out of every body part. Whew!) No, that’s
fine—that usually makes for a good, fun time, at eighteen or eighty!